Drive and Diss Double Takes: Elite Eight Edition

Welcome to a new feature at Drive and Diss: Drive and Diss Double Takes. This is where we, appropriately enough, do double takes while scouting the sports landscape. Today's first edition focuses on the excitement of the NCAA tournament.

Double Take #1: Was that former NBA point guard Rod Strickland on the Memphis bench? Indeed it was, but we still can't believe it. While Rod was one of the most talented point guards of the past two decades (especially with the Trail Blazers and Bullets), he was also one of the era's biggest underachievers. Off the court, he had multiple brushes with the law (read more here). And on the court, he was known to regularly vomit after a pre-game hot dog eating ritual. True story. Maybe he has matured with age? After all, Memphis' Derrick Rose is the best point guard in the country and you've got to think Strickland had a hand in that. Or maybe he's just teaching the team how to bowl.

Double Take #2: Does R & B superstar Chaka Khan play for Kansas? The answer to this one is no, but we did a double take during today's game between Kansas and Davidson. We thought we heard the great CBS announcer (and NewsChannel 8 veteran) Gus Johnson talk about big plays by Chaka Khan. He was actually saying Sasha Kaun. The Kansas center was a difference maker in the game. Davidson had no match for his size in the low post. We guess you could say that Davidson got "Kauned."

-E

Wrong! 24 second Shot clock violation. Injury changes everything.

Here at Drive and Diss we love to innovate at certain times, other times we don't. This is one of those times when we don't. When we need to come clean and admit wrong doing we have felt compelled to innovate yet again. "The 24 second Shot clock violation" is our new method of coming clean. Welcome to our first, official installment.

It turns out an unforseen event has happened moments after predicting the Suns having no chance at a playoff run this year. Despite recent losses to Boston and Detroit the Suns have nothing to worry about now. This is all because of Dirk Nowitzki's injury nanoseconds before the playoffs. This injury could not have come at a better time for the Suns.



Dirk has survived injury before, just refer to the above photograph to see what I mean. But the timing of this injury is huge for the Mediocre Mavs. The timetable for the mvp is set for about a week... but open to being longer. Meanwhile, 9th place Denver looms tonight to pick away at the Mav's flimsy holding of their seventh seed. Our prediction was seeing Denver sneak into the playoffs pushing the setting Suns out of the horizon. It appears now the Mavericks have volunteered their spot so viewers are forced to watch a slower, confused, repackaged Suns team for a few more weeks. Oh goody, more Shaq quotes....

Thanks Dirk.

-J

A Drive and Diss 3-Second Violation: Bold Playoff Prediction

Welcome to Drive and Diss' newest innovation - the 3-second violation. This is where we take a maximum of 3 seconds to create hard-hitting blog entries. In today's first installment, the Suns will not make the playoffs. Even with that special glow around Shaq.

- J and E

We are back and so is Kwame!

Hello Drive and Diss fans. It's been a while. Too long for some. Not long enough for others. We have been busy working on scouting reports for the upcoming season. And apparently Kwame Brown has been busy as well. Busy getting arrested that is - and just in time for training camp!



Everyone's favorite draft bust was booked over the weekend in Georgia for disorderly conduct and interfering with a police officer after his cousin was charged with drunken driving. (He should have resisted arrest as well to go for the misdemeanor trifecta.) You know, there was a time we had some sympathy for Kwame. Half of Drive and Diss lives and dies with the Washington Wizards. We held out high hopes when he was drafted and felt bad about the incessant tongue lashings Kwame got from an over-the-hill Michael Jordan trying to recapture his glory days. However, we came to realize that Kwame simply did not have what it takes. He would have one explosive game where he would dominate on both ends of the court followed by 50 games where he would disappear. The Kwame Brown era was a dark chapter for the illustrious Wizards franchise. Fortunately it ended with the arrival of the shining light of Gilbert Arenas.



Below is Kwame in a pose we are all very familiar with: getting hurt. Kwame's other most recognizable pose has him dropping a pass in the post therby blowing a wide open layup. Did you know there is an active web site called kwamebrownsucks.com? We didn't either. We tip our hats to the industrial folks behind that site.


-E

New Nickname for KG. "The Big REGULAR SEASON Ticket"

I think I am a little bit confused here. For some reason ESPN, Fox, and sports writers across the media landscape are buzzing with the KG trade transaction. The "Big Ticket" is going to the Celtics. My response? "Big Deal...."

Unless the Celtic's faithful are fans of the regular nba season I hardly think this is something to applaud. For some interesting reason, a recipe for elite status in the NBA now comes from combining an injury prone shooting guard, an "all star default" swing forward guard, and one of the best non clutch big men to play the game.

KG wants a championship even though his play history has said otherwise. His trade appears to echo his play by joining two other playoffphobic stars in their quest to look really good in a regular season atmosphere.

Here at drive and diss, we take pride in using processes operating out of conventional wisdom to substantiate our claims. My research for today took a whopping 3 minutes to arrive at my conclusion about KG, Ray Allen, and Paul Pierce (as of 08/14/07):

-Go to Youtube.

-Type in "KG Game Winner" and look at the myriad of choices.

The current search yields some kind of skiing incident as the most "relevant" selection. This is followed by an actual game winner by KG in Portland. This video is then followed by another version of the same shot in Portland. YouTube then gives us a KG game winner over the lowly Sixers. The next example is the same victory shot over the Philly. Finally, this is followed by a World Championship match from the WWE video game "Raw vs. Smackdown" featuring Kiego available on the Playstation 2. After close scrutiny I counted 2 official game winners for KG that fans felt the need to share with the world. Does anyone really think KG will be calling for the ball in crunch time for Boston? (for entertainment purposes I have provided the direct link to the WWE match below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xEh10nz6sI

For fun try this formula with "Ray Allen" or "Pierce Game winner" in the text field instead. Both yielded one whole page with the same odd mixture for results.

For even more fun type "Kobe Game Winner" to see what championship experienced players do. I counted 7 plus pages of results at first glance....

Laker Haters should thank Kevin Mchale for his entrenched, competitive, stubbornness to ensure instant championships take a detour away from the purple and gold. On a positive note, Kevin Mchale has been the Best GM the Celtic front office has had in a long time.

-J

Spotlight on...Paul Mokeski!

The fans have been clamoring for it and Drive and Diss is back with some fresh posts. And what could be fresher than early '80's, athletically challenged, white centers? Nothing, that's what! The Sports Guy at ESPN has covered this ground many times before, but it bears repeating: Paul Mokeski is the only NBA player ever with the build of a high school history teacher. Simply astonishing. Even more amazing, Paul Mokeski's name randomly came up today during Drive and Diss' lunch break. We had seafood; fish and chips and yellowtail to be specific. It was delicious. Thanks for asking.

The Spurs Won. Wow.

What we here at Drive and Diss have been predicting for years, nay, decades, has come true. The Spurs have won the championship. We can barely contain our excitement. We should really be in awe of the efficient team play of the Spurs, but we can't. As mentioned so eloquently in the previous post, it's hard to root for robots. So to wrap up our coverage of the 2007 NBA Finals, we leave you with this shot of Manu Ginobli playing a game of keep away. Thrilling.