I was wrong.

After my long slumber from journal entries with the Smooth Jazz whimper of a playoff series, I have finally been jolted to a waking state. Why? Because of the searing pains of boredom in my bowels as the San Antonio Robots clock in another championship.

As I watched Lebron's incredible single game performance against Detroit it seemed obvious to me certain rules would be in place for Lebron for his finals appearance. I expected "The Jordan Rules" to return for King James, just like it did for D. Wade during his championship run.

I was wrong. What we have here is the most horrid finals in recent memory. The San Antonio Robots are on the verge of another championship and all we can do is watch in a catatonic state devoid of any enjoyment. Why? Because the San Antonio Robots have no human emotion whatsoever. (Well, unless a foul is called on one of their big three. The San Antonio robots reflect crybaby emotion to perfection)

Although I am glad Jordan rules have been displaced to possibly rid yet another conspiracy theory for us to entertain, what we have left is nothing short of a moronic "who can outflop who" mixed with splendid defense and precision ball movement. Only the San Antonio Robots would be able to make this a laborious affair to watch.

At least we don't have to deal with the Pussycat Dolls commercial trash between time outs during the finals, but perhaps being flooded with them during the earlier rounds helps to explain one of the lowest ratings David Stern has had to deal with during his tenure. Yes David Stern, I am taking out my nauseating boredom out on you. The "NBA on NBC" golden age is a far cry to what we have now. John Tesh sweeping nba epics are now replaced with second string bimbo spice girls who obviously rely on sex appeal to sell us basketball. Just who is David Stern trying to cater to? I watched in horror as I got details of Eva Langoria's wedding during halftime the other day. Is Tony Parker going to dribble a basketball, do a lay-up, and flop at the pulpit to say "I do"? Desperate Housewives and Boring NBA finals are a recipe for disaster. What about the Desperate Fans?

The worst part of all of this is absolutely no one cares about the NBA anymore. When visiting the water cooler at work I often hang my head in shame when I strike up conversation asking "did you watch the game last night?". The answer is a resounding "no" as rpg games become the topic of conversation instead. Why? My belief lies with David Stern sacrificing mainstream viewers for dollars. Now, in order to watch any basketball we have to track it down on 4(or more) different channels. Back in the days of “NBA on NBC” viewers had a much simpler life. Playoff basketball was forced down your throat on network TV and people actually would watch their teams on LOCAL CHANNELS. The casual viewer could actually catch a game of Patrick Ewing on east coast time or Charles Barkley in a Suns uniform during playoff runs. The key is no one had to channel surf. If the playoffs were on casual viewers just had to find NBC….

(Insert heavy, downtrodden sigh here) The home of John Tesh's sweeping “NBA on NBC” theme music juxtaposed with a montage of the superstars of that era will always have a place in my heart.

-J