Refuting Our Own Theory

Wow, it appears we were wrong. We would like to immediately refute our own theory that Jerry West leaving was the cause of all of the Laker woes. In hindsight, this theory was full of holes: Jerry West was not disrespected by the organization. He cited his health when he resigned. Here is the real reason for the troubles: The team has not been the same (nor won a championship) since 3-point-shooting dynamo Mike Penberthy left the team in 2002. The cause of the Lakers woes will therefore now be known as the Curse of Mike Penberthy. Just take a look at his imposing mug over there on the right.

Simply terrifying. No wonder the team has not been the same without him. And here are some more facts on The Pen:

• Dude came from out of nowhere: He went to someplace called The Master’s College. I think a school called The Journeyman’s College would be more appropriate for The Pen, but at least it’s better than other accredited institutions of higher learning.
• Dude probably got muscled out of the league: He was listed at 6’3” and 185lbs; for a professional athlete that is downright ectomorphic. There is no way he could hold his own against the likes of strongmen Earl Boykins and Eric Piatkowski.
• Dude enjoyed parasailing with teammates Slava Medvedenko and Somaki Walker.

And nothing will be right again in Lakerland until The Pen is brought back by the organization.

So there you have it. An immediately retraction of the theory we used as a basis for this blog. But we don’t look at our initial theory as a mistake. Instead, it’s more like a frank give and take between, well, ourselves. Expect to see more of this groundbreaking “journalism” in the months to come.

-E